


the lights fell down upon the world

by actualflower



Series: character studies: mortality and bonds. [6]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Temporary Character Death, pike trickfoot: monstah of my heart, pike trickfoot: tiny confused cleric who is better than she knows but still has a lot to learn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-18 00:16:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7291921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/actualflower/pseuds/actualflower
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>pike trickfoot: a study in faith and blessings and how one gnome can become the guiding light for so many.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the lights fell down upon the world

when she was little, before she met the kindest goliath she’d ever known, pike used to look out the window of her home with her papa wilhand and think about what she was meant for. big thoughts for a tiny gnome, but she thought them. lots of times, she wanted to become a famous adventurer, known for her big heart and bigger sword. other times, she wanted to be a priestess, helping people through her goddess. most times, though, she just wanted to not be quite so alone. she prayed to sarenrae about it, because her papa wilhand had taught her that sarenrae can heal all your ills, and if you’ve got a problem, pray about it. she’ll show you a solution. so she prays.

the next day, her papa wilhand almost dies, if not for the intervention of a timely goliath. when they both come home, she knows exactly who sent him.

pike never really feels lonely, after that. she has grog, and papa wilhand, and sarenrae. that’s really all she needs, when she thinks about it.

they grow up, and then pike watches grog go off in the direction of gaatshadow, and something in her heart tells her that something is very, very wrong. luckily, a timely band of adventurers happens to know just what to do.

when they find him, pike feels dread like she hasn’t felt since her papa could have died.

after that, it gets - harder. to really have faith. she believes, of course she does, but sometimes she forgets to pray before bed and now she has a group of new friends and they’re going on grand adventures together, all of them, and she’s never felt more close with so many people before. she’s used to brushing close with death, now. she almost feels untouchable - she’s got the holy light of sarenrae on her side, she’s got her friends, she’s got grog -

but then she dies. and for the first time in her gnomish life, pike trickfoot realizes that maybe she doesn’t have it all figured out, after all.

it feels like a slap in the face, or a bucket of ice water dashed on her head to wake her in the morning. but, she realizes, it’s something she almost needed, in a way. sarenrae pulls her towards the sea, towards her temple, inexorably, and she knows that this is what she needs to do.

it doesn’t make it any easier, but. she’s starting to learn that perhaps the easiest things aren’t the most worthy pursuits.

still, the wind stings as she sails out to sea, her friends (her family) waving goodbye from the shore, and she imagines the tears leaking from her eyes are just little drops of saltwater that want to return home.

she fasts on the ship, prays to sarenrae and offers thanks and asks for guidance. _i have seen death_ , she whispers, _and it was not in your warm embrace._

_no_ , the goddess murmurs back. _i am what brought you back to the light._

pike finds the temple, and she thinks she understands everything just a little bit better. she thinks about death everyday. she thinks about her family just as often. and sarenrae she thinks of more than both combined - more out of a certain necessity than anything; the temple’s restoration goes smoothly, and she feels surrounded by light wherever she walks.

she feels good about what she’s doing. she feels right. she feels humbled and awestruck and blessed that sarenrae would choose her for this.

when she gets the dreams of a city called whitestone, she knows exactly what she must do.

she calls sarenrae to aid her, and her goddess answers in the form of a dream-walking paragon of light, an avatar that sends her back to her family when they need her most.

keeper yennen recognizes her as soon as she appears. they form a plan, and a militia, and when pike appears before her friends as her radiant avatar, she can almost imagine she feels their warm embraces.

(and, of course, she puts a little flair on it when she takes down the skeletons. she's been gone for a while. she  _missed_ this.)

but something is wrong - she feels it, deep in her bones, even while her body lays sleeping in vasselheim. percy tells her of the briarwoods, of his sister, of all the turmoil and wretchedness he's felt since he stepped foot back into the town. she senses something dark in him, something different from the darkness pervading the town, and calls sarenrae to flush the hurt from his soul. 

they end up fighting percy's demon (literally). pike thinks it's fitting that they all end up defeating it together, rather than percy fighting it alone. but - 

there are larger things at stake. pike knows this, and they fight their way through the castle, to the briarwoods, to the broken lady delilah and her second-lived silas. she is almost, almost sad when they kill them. but then she thinks of percy, and thinks of all the pain they've caused, and knows that the briarwoods are not the kind of people you save. they are the kind you stop.

she thinks of how easily she could have become the kind of person you stop, her and grog. how her holy symbol cracked when sarenrae could feel her start on that path.

when she wakes in vasselheim, she prays thanks to her lady for saving her, once again.

**Author's Note:**

> HOOO BOY THAT... that study was hard. pike's voice does Not come easily, and i really do not think i did her justice. but i PROMISED, and i'm DELIVERING, and i'm going to probably edit the FUCK out of this in the future, so.
> 
> but pike <3 my darling monstah. i love pike more than life, man. #teammompike
> 
> title from Take Care by Tom Rosenthal.
> 
> talk to me abt darling gnome clerics @ ppepperbox.tumblr.com!


End file.
